20 weeks. HOLY CRAP! We made it to half way. WE MADE IT TO HALF WAY!!!! Our little man is supposed to be the size of a cantaloupe right now and is only 4 weeks away from what is considered the gestational age of viability.
Physically:
- The pounds are climbing up. I knew they would. My metabolism sucks in pregnancy. (Not that it was anything grand pre-pregnancy . . . ) Here's how my weight gain works when I'm pregnant: Spend most of my days eating moderately healthy. Avoiding excess sweets, trying to eat fairly balanced meals without overeating. Choose snacks that at least have some nutritional value, etc. And my weight doesn't budge an ounce for days at a time. But I am a pregnant woman, and I'd say about once a week I just have to have something indulgent. Depends on the week, but what I indulge in varies wildly . . . a cupcake, or fast food, or Chipotle, or a huge bowl of pasta, etc. Or even worse, a whole 3 day holiday weekend of excuses to go out to eat, order take out, and indulge in other forms of social eating. And when I do any of these things, my weight jumps up A LOT (totally disproportionate to whatever it was that I ate). It would also do that pre-pregnancy . . . Just water weight that would disappear a couple of days later, right? NOPE. Not when I'm pregnant. It's a little bit frustrating to feel like I can't eat like a normal pregnant person (or even just a normal person for that matter) without feeling like my next doctor's appointment is going to turn into a reprimand for how much weight I've gained. It's also a bit frustrating knowing that I started pregnancy on the overweight side, so my gain over this 40 week period should be fairly conservative. I don't want to be even more overweight at the end than I was at the beginning, so I'm trying to be careful. But as much as I struggle with weight, I'll be honest . . . this "problem" feels more normal to me than where I was several weeks ago which was barely up at all.
- Speaking of things climbing up . . . Hello baby bump. If I can find my black tank top, I may try to take a picture today. My little boy has finally decided to start the journey up from behind my pubic bone, and it's becoming more and more obvious every day that I'm pregnant and not just fat. LOL. Most strangers still wouldn't dare ask me if I was pregnant, because it's not THAT obvious - but to people who saw me a couple weeks ago, it's obviously a change.
- And with things moving up into my middle abdomen, the lower cervix and pelvic pain that was almost crippling a few weeks ago is G.O.N.E.!!!!!!!!!!!! I am almost as happy about this as I was to say goodbye to my sickness a few weeks ago. There are not words for how worried I was that I was going to spend my entire pregnancy in pain to just walk around the house. I could not imagine dealing with that pain every day . . . and thankfully, my doctors (and Doctor Google) were right - it was just a growing baby and uterus that hadn't "popped" yet and were keeping the pressure on everything below them. Time to give my pelvis a break and enjoy a few weeks before my intestines and lungs are the ones getting the constant pressure.
- He is a mover and a shaker. I knew, in my mind, if I could get to the point of feeling regular movement that this would be a lot easier on my anxiety. And little man has not disappointed. I know that regular movement is not expected this early - in fact it's not expected for another 8 weeks really. So he could have his slower days coming up. But for now, even with this anterior placenta, I can almost always elicit some movement from him within 15-20 minutes whenever I need some reassurance that he's okay. And when he's in the right position and having a burst of activity, it's actually pretty crazy how much I'm feeling at this point. I did feel my son starting at around 18 weeks, but I don't remember feeling this many movements at 20 weeks. (Of course, they do say that with subsequent pregnancies you are just more aware, so maybe that's what it is.) As he was practicing some sort of ninja moves right as I was trying to fall asleep last night, it was hard for me to fight back the tears. THIS is what pregnancy is supposed to be like. It's AMAZING, and PERFECT. (To the point that I actually had a fleeting thought of maybe, just maybe, considering a 3rd child. Don't worry though, my sanity is back this morning.)
Emotionally:
- I'm not constantly freaking out about what's going to go wrong. The ultrasound last week helped tremendously. The pain that has subsided in my lower pelvis helps tremendously. And little man's movements are truly the most amazing thing I could have asked for this early. (Based on the location of my placenta I was really expecting to be anxiously waiting for movement for several more weeks.)
- I'm ready to start doing stuff to prepare for his arrival. Not that there is a HUGE hurry, but we currently have a guest room FULL of stuff, and we were previously going to turn it into a full blown nursery. But with both of our families out of town, and neither in a real position to pay for hotels if they want to come visit us, we have decided the room will double as a nursery and a guest room. We still need to do a ton of cleaning / sorting / purging of the items in there to make room for a crib and for all the baby items that will need to be stored. That will have to happen before we can really start thinking about bringing stuff from our son out of storage - all of which will need to be sorted / cleaned / etc. I think my goal right now is to have the room cleaned out by the end of 2nd trimester. That gives me 7 weeks. And then spend the last 13 weeks digging baby stuff out of storage and turning the room into a functional nursery/guest room.
- Is it weird that as good as I'm feeling, I don't want to think about names for this little boy yet? I can't explain it. Maybe it's just because I don't have any boy names I really love. Or maybe it's because I know my husband and I won't agree and I don't feel like negotiating this decision right now. I don't know. We still have 20 weeks to think about it. No hurry. (Except my husband wants to do it - like NOW.)
- See the first point under my emotional well-being right now . . . I am not constantly freaking out, I swear. But I am definitely still a little concerned about whether or not those elevated AFP levels could indicate a complicated 3rd trimester problem. I am so very very thankful to have been referred to MFM and to have another ultrasound in 6 weeks. That helps keep me a lot more sane about what could possibly happen.
And I think that's it for now. Hopefully we will have many many more weeks like this . . . Where the joy outweighs the worry and my biggest concern is whether or not to eat those french fries I so desperately want.
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