I think we have seen some improvement in the last 24 hours. There was no screaming from gas pain overnight. There was still some writhing and grunting - but no screaming. Which means I actually got some sleep between feedings! (He even went 4.5 hours before he needed his first fill up of the night!) But he is apparently a silent puker - because he had more spit up on him this morning than usual and I don't remember hearing him do any of that last night.
Is relieved gas pain but more spit up an improvement? That's debatable.
BUT every poop he has had starting with one last night (5 poops now) have all been mucus free!!! Yeah, gross. I know. But great news.
Also good news? No weight loss for me and no drop in milk supply. (Don't get me wrong, I need to lose about 40 pounds - but not from an extreme diet while breastfeeding.) I'm still pretty miserable from an eating perspective, but SO happy to see a positive change for him so quickly. It makes it a lot easier to stick with it.
Crazy and unhealthy as it sounds, I think plain white sugar will be my first addition back into my diet. No, I'm not planning to eat it off a spoon (at least not yet). But I have a very serious sweet tooth and I can add that to just about everything I'm currently eating and change it all up. My cereal would be so much better with sugar. I can cook some apples and pears in sugar. I can make rice pudding with sugar. I can put it on a sweet potato - instead of brown sugar.
I'm not completely set on that yet. Part of me feels like I should do something more healthy. We'll see how I'm feeling when I get there. It will DEFINITELY not be a starch. I am sooooo over potatoes and rice. Blah. A nice hunk if red meat sounds wonderful. So does a cup of coffee. Or a glass of wine. Ahhhh, I miss food.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Detoxing (TED - Day 2)
Holy shit. Do you know what your body does when you abruptly cut out dairy, wheat, corn, sugar, artificial sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and just about everything else? It gets freakin angry. I have the detox headache from hell and of course the minute my 3 year old went down for his nap, the baby woke up.
Thinking about what to eat next makes me want to cry and thinking about doing this for the next 5 days really makes me feel defeated. I don't know how I will be able to do it.
Good news: I didn't drop any weight in my first 24 hours and my pumping output this morning was good.
Bad news: The baby's tummy is as bad as ever today. (It's too early to really hope to see improvement, but damn it would make this easier.)
Thinking about what to eat next makes me want to cry and thinking about doing this for the next 5 days really makes me feel defeated. I don't know how I will be able to do it.
Good news: I didn't drop any weight in my first 24 hours and my pumping output this morning was good.
Bad news: The baby's tummy is as bad as ever today. (It's too early to really hope to see improvement, but damn it would make this easier.)
Monday, March 11, 2013
TED - Day 1
Breakfast: puffed brown rice cereal with rice milk, fresh pear
Lunch: fresh apple, apple juice, chicken "burger"
Dinner: chicken and potatoes from the crockpot, rice, apple juice
Snacks: potato chips, sweet potato chips, rice cakes, apple juice
So it hasn't been *that* bad. I'm going to live off of potato chips and apple juice. I feel very hungry tonight, but I think it's more deprived than hungry. I've consumed enough calories, I just haven't found any of them remarkably satisfying.
I did make fabulous rice tonight with some extra calories. I sautéed the uncooked rice in a little olive oil - enough to coat the rice and almost toast it. Then I cooked it in half water and half chicken juice from the crock pot. OMG, it was heavenly! I plan to make it again tomorrow.
So I survived. A week is going to be really hard, and I'm going to need more apple juice and potato chips quickly.
Lunch: fresh apple, apple juice, chicken "burger"
Dinner: chicken and potatoes from the crockpot, rice, apple juice
Snacks: potato chips, sweet potato chips, rice cakes, apple juice
So it hasn't been *that* bad. I'm going to live off of potato chips and apple juice. I feel very hungry tonight, but I think it's more deprived than hungry. I've consumed enough calories, I just haven't found any of them remarkably satisfying.
I did make fabulous rice tonight with some extra calories. I sautéed the uncooked rice in a little olive oil - enough to coat the rice and almost toast it. Then I cooked it in half water and half chicken juice from the crock pot. OMG, it was heavenly! I plan to make it again tomorrow.
So I survived. A week is going to be really hard, and I'm going to need more apple juice and potato chips quickly.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Total Elimination Diet
Well. I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this. My tiny baby is perfect in every way except for his poor little tummy. He is so content, and so peaceful until about 15-30 minutes after many (most but not all) of his feedings. At which point he starts pumping his legs, writhing in pain, and screaming. Not crying, screaming. He farts and he seems better. Until the next wave of gas hits and this scenario repeats. It lasts for anywhere from 5 minutes to 45 minutes and breaks my heart to watch because I can not help him. Gripe water has not worked. Mylicon drops have not worked. Burping him does not work. He is also dealing with reflux and increased mucus production - both with his stools and with nasal congestion.
I tried cutting out dairy. I made it for about 10 days and saw no improvement. I tried cutting out acidic foods like citrus and tomatoes for about a week and saw no improvement there. Unfortunately, the less extreme method of identifying food sensitivity (I'll explain down below why I don't think it's a full blown allergy) is like finding a needle in a haystack. Eliminate one food. See what happens. Repeat. There are 2 problems with this approach. 1 - It really takes up to 3 weeks for some allergens to get completely out of the mother's system. Waiting 3 weeks per food is a lot of time for a guessing game. My baby could turn 1 before I eliminated the right food. 2 - If it is multiple foods, you are basically screwed with this approach. Not only did I not wait long enough when I eliminated dairy, but if he has sensitivity to dairy and soy then eliminating one doesn't help him and therefore doesn't help me identify the eliminated food as a problem.
So where does that leave us? With something called the total elimination diet. The details are here: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-infants-toddlers/food-allergies/elimination-diet
Basically you cut your diet back to an extremely limited number of foods that are very rare offenders and start there. It's extreme, and I've heard it's miserable. But so is watching your baby fight with intestinal discomfort constantly. I'm modifying Dr. Sears recommended foods just a bit. I couldn't find free range turkey, so I'm doing chicken instead. If it is a corn or soy allergy, it's important that the meat I'm eating not be full of corn or soy. So I decided that organic free range chicken was better than non-organic turkey. I am also going to eat apples and maybe bananas. Some other TED diets allow both. Adding apples gives me some more variety and it's much easier to find apple sauce and juice than pear. I'm still undecided on the bananas. We'll see how horrible this diet is a couple days in.
So tomorrow I will start living on rice, potatoes, squash, chicken, apples, pears, and olive oil - all organic. Oh yeah, and salt and pepper. God help me. I should be a royal bitch in no time flat. Thankfully there are tons of rice derivatives. There is rice flour, so I can coat my chicken in it and fry it in the olive oil. There is rice pasta, rice cereal, rice milk. I've also got some rice cakes - GROSS, but I need readily available snacks. I also found some plain organic potato chips - just potatoes and salt. I have a whole chicken that I'll put in the crock pot with some potatoes for dinner tomorrow night. I plan on shredding some potatoes and frying them up for hash browns. I have ground chicken for "burgers." Damn, this is going to suck. I ENJOY food.
Supposedly this is a WONDERFUL weight loss diet, which is not a good thing for breastfeeding women. Losing too much weight too quickly is really bad for milk supply, so I've been reading that when doing a TED and breastfeeding that the key is to eat all the time. Don't be afraid to use your oils of choice liberally and don't skimp on the protein.
So yes, it's very extreme. But here's the good part. You do this for 1-2 weeks. (I'm committing to 1 week and then reevaluating the situation.) If the baby is better, you have eliminated his pain much faster than with the method above. And mom can start adding foods back in fairly quickly - a new food every 3 to 4 days. And it gives you a much clearer picture as to what upsets the baby, particularly if it's multiple offenders.
I'm already salivating at what food I want to add back first . . .
A note about food allergy vs sensitivity. I don't think we are dealing with an allergy here. Allergies usually have much more severe symptoms such as colic, vomiting, diarrhea, eczema, poor weight gain, etc. I think we are dealing with a sensitivity. Severe gas pain, reflux (but not vomiting), and increased mucus production are our main problems right now. He loves to eat, is gaining weight like crazy, and is happy/content virtually all the time once he passes his gas. So assuming I can find a new diet that eliminates these current problems, I shouldn't have to throw out my 120+ ounce freezer stash of breast milk. Since he only gets that milk in small quantities here and there, it's actually a good way to make sure he continues to have some limited exposures to offending foods to help his body process them - without overloading him with it at every feeding. If his symptoms worsen and we have a full blown allergy, I will be tossing a ton of breast milk and crying over it - a lot.
One final note. If his symptoms do not improve on this TED, then we can assume that his tummy problems are not related to my diet and that as his digestive system matures he will hopefully outgrow the problems. That is a very possible outcome of this whole experiment - I just have to do everything I can to make sure I'm not causing him this pain.
I'm currently enjoying my last glass of wine for a while. Cheers.
I tried cutting out dairy. I made it for about 10 days and saw no improvement. I tried cutting out acidic foods like citrus and tomatoes for about a week and saw no improvement there. Unfortunately, the less extreme method of identifying food sensitivity (I'll explain down below why I don't think it's a full blown allergy) is like finding a needle in a haystack. Eliminate one food. See what happens. Repeat. There are 2 problems with this approach. 1 - It really takes up to 3 weeks for some allergens to get completely out of the mother's system. Waiting 3 weeks per food is a lot of time for a guessing game. My baby could turn 1 before I eliminated the right food. 2 - If it is multiple foods, you are basically screwed with this approach. Not only did I not wait long enough when I eliminated dairy, but if he has sensitivity to dairy and soy then eliminating one doesn't help him and therefore doesn't help me identify the eliminated food as a problem.
So where does that leave us? With something called the total elimination diet. The details are here: http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/feeding-infants-toddlers/food-allergies/elimination-diet
Basically you cut your diet back to an extremely limited number of foods that are very rare offenders and start there. It's extreme, and I've heard it's miserable. But so is watching your baby fight with intestinal discomfort constantly. I'm modifying Dr. Sears recommended foods just a bit. I couldn't find free range turkey, so I'm doing chicken instead. If it is a corn or soy allergy, it's important that the meat I'm eating not be full of corn or soy. So I decided that organic free range chicken was better than non-organic turkey. I am also going to eat apples and maybe bananas. Some other TED diets allow both. Adding apples gives me some more variety and it's much easier to find apple sauce and juice than pear. I'm still undecided on the bananas. We'll see how horrible this diet is a couple days in.
So tomorrow I will start living on rice, potatoes, squash, chicken, apples, pears, and olive oil - all organic. Oh yeah, and salt and pepper. God help me. I should be a royal bitch in no time flat. Thankfully there are tons of rice derivatives. There is rice flour, so I can coat my chicken in it and fry it in the olive oil. There is rice pasta, rice cereal, rice milk. I've also got some rice cakes - GROSS, but I need readily available snacks. I also found some plain organic potato chips - just potatoes and salt. I have a whole chicken that I'll put in the crock pot with some potatoes for dinner tomorrow night. I plan on shredding some potatoes and frying them up for hash browns. I have ground chicken for "burgers." Damn, this is going to suck. I ENJOY food.
Supposedly this is a WONDERFUL weight loss diet, which is not a good thing for breastfeeding women. Losing too much weight too quickly is really bad for milk supply, so I've been reading that when doing a TED and breastfeeding that the key is to eat all the time. Don't be afraid to use your oils of choice liberally and don't skimp on the protein.
So yes, it's very extreme. But here's the good part. You do this for 1-2 weeks. (I'm committing to 1 week and then reevaluating the situation.) If the baby is better, you have eliminated his pain much faster than with the method above. And mom can start adding foods back in fairly quickly - a new food every 3 to 4 days. And it gives you a much clearer picture as to what upsets the baby, particularly if it's multiple offenders.
I'm already salivating at what food I want to add back first . . .
A note about food allergy vs sensitivity. I don't think we are dealing with an allergy here. Allergies usually have much more severe symptoms such as colic, vomiting, diarrhea, eczema, poor weight gain, etc. I think we are dealing with a sensitivity. Severe gas pain, reflux (but not vomiting), and increased mucus production are our main problems right now. He loves to eat, is gaining weight like crazy, and is happy/content virtually all the time once he passes his gas. So assuming I can find a new diet that eliminates these current problems, I shouldn't have to throw out my 120+ ounce freezer stash of breast milk. Since he only gets that milk in small quantities here and there, it's actually a good way to make sure he continues to have some limited exposures to offending foods to help his body process them - without overloading him with it at every feeding. If his symptoms worsen and we have a full blown allergy, I will be tossing a ton of breast milk and crying over it - a lot.
One final note. If his symptoms do not improve on this TED, then we can assume that his tummy problems are not related to my diet and that as his digestive system matures he will hopefully outgrow the problems. That is a very possible outcome of this whole experiment - I just have to do everything I can to make sure I'm not causing him this pain.
I'm currently enjoying my last glass of wine for a while. Cheers.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
100 ounces
The 4 ounces I just pumped put my freezer stash at 100 ounces. That's not a tremendous amount for someone who exclusively pumps - it would be about 4 days worth of breastmilk. But here's the thing - I'm exclusively breastfeeding from the breast. My son had 2 two ounce bottles 2 weeks ago (that's a lot of 2s) to make sure he would take a bottle. And he had 2 two ounce bottles last week when I had to leave him with Dad for my new side job.
So why do I need 100 ounces in the freezer and why am I pumping? The short answer is that I'm crazy. The longer answer is that breastfeeding with my older son was a challenge from the beginning and we faced one hurdle after another. Just when everything started going well I got pregnant then miscarried and it destroyed my supply. We fought through low supply with formula supplementing but I did manage to at least give him some breastmilk every day until he was a year old.
This time it's so very different. The baby latched within seconds of being brought to me in the hospital and LOVES to nurse and is very efficient at it. Combine his efficient and enthusiastic nursing with me feeding him 100% on demand with no regard for the clock - and I have a great supply. (He's also gained 8 pounds in 8 weeks, which is INSANE.)
I don't anticipate getting pregnant again this time. But you never know what can happen. I could get sick for a duration of time. I could be out of the house more than I currently am. I just don't want to struggle with providing breastmilk like I did last time. I am not pumping every day. I'm just pumping when it's convenient, so it's not at all stressful.
I should add that I have absolutely nothing against formula. As I mentioned above, my older son was supplemented with it from 6 months to a year. It was a life saver for us as I literally did not have another way to feed him to meet his demands. My desire to provide as much breastmilk as possible is solely my personal preference. I may be in the minority, but I love breastfeeding. I want to have a strong breastfeeding relationship with my new son without the stress I had about it with my first son.
So what will I do with this freezer stash if I end up not needing it? Gah. I'm struggling with that right now. I'm not eligible to donate it because of the Zoloft. I guess the best thing to do if he doesn't need it while nursing is to continue to use it in cups once he has weaned. We'll cross that bridge *if* we get to it. I'm not convinced that we won't hit some hurdle along the way that will use it all up. In the meantime, you can me Bessie.
So why do I need 100 ounces in the freezer and why am I pumping? The short answer is that I'm crazy. The longer answer is that breastfeeding with my older son was a challenge from the beginning and we faced one hurdle after another. Just when everything started going well I got pregnant then miscarried and it destroyed my supply. We fought through low supply with formula supplementing but I did manage to at least give him some breastmilk every day until he was a year old.
This time it's so very different. The baby latched within seconds of being brought to me in the hospital and LOVES to nurse and is very efficient at it. Combine his efficient and enthusiastic nursing with me feeding him 100% on demand with no regard for the clock - and I have a great supply. (He's also gained 8 pounds in 8 weeks, which is INSANE.)
I don't anticipate getting pregnant again this time. But you never know what can happen. I could get sick for a duration of time. I could be out of the house more than I currently am. I just don't want to struggle with providing breastmilk like I did last time. I am not pumping every day. I'm just pumping when it's convenient, so it's not at all stressful.
I should add that I have absolutely nothing against formula. As I mentioned above, my older son was supplemented with it from 6 months to a year. It was a life saver for us as I literally did not have another way to feed him to meet his demands. My desire to provide as much breastmilk as possible is solely my personal preference. I may be in the minority, but I love breastfeeding. I want to have a strong breastfeeding relationship with my new son without the stress I had about it with my first son.
So what will I do with this freezer stash if I end up not needing it? Gah. I'm struggling with that right now. I'm not eligible to donate it because of the Zoloft. I guess the best thing to do if he doesn't need it while nursing is to continue to use it in cups once he has weaned. We'll cross that bridge *if* we get to it. I'm not convinced that we won't hit some hurdle along the way that will use it all up. In the meantime, you can me Bessie.
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