I can handle the rib kicks (at least he's head down)! I can handle the leaky boobs that just started (even though I never produced a drop of milk before delivery with my previous two). I can handle the exhaustion of chasing after two young boys with a fraction of the lung capacity I normally have. I can handle not sleeping well. I can even handle the excruciating crotch pain most days. (Although today was particularly bad, and just lifting my legs high enough to take one or two steps was pretty unbearable.)
These are all just things that come with being 8 months pregnant.
What is crippling me right now, on top of all the "normal" stuff is a thrombosed hemorrhoid. Sorry, was that TMI? If you've never had one, be eternally grateful. If you have had one, my sympathy goes out to you. This is not just your ordinary run of the mill hemorrhoid. Nope. This is one my midwives want me to see a surgeon about as soon as possible. So I get to have a GI surgeon dig around in my butt Tuesday. Happy 36 weeks to me.
Did I mention that I'm done?
It's so hard to reconcile feeling so miserable through this entire pregnancy. I mean, I lost 4 pregnancies - so a surprise successful pregnancy should be all puppies and rainbows, right? I should enjoy every second of the last month of pregnancy I will ever have, right? Nope. I'm done. The only way through is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and somehow even that is literally turning into something that seems almost impossible to do for much longer.
The end is close. So close. And yet so very very far.
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