Hi, and welcome. This blog has changed a bit recently. My husband and I fought through 4 consecutive losses to get our second healthy child (born in December 2012) . . . and while we had not shut the door on the idea of another pregnancy, we certainly were leaning in that direction. On August 8, 2014, we found out we are pregnant for the 7th time. A total surprise. So the neurotic journey continues . . . third child or fifth loss . . . I'm scared and confused and just a teensy bit excited . . .

Thursday, April 16, 2015

39w3d

Well I'm not the raging bitch I was yesterday.  Today I'm a sobbing disaster. My hormones are so fucked up right now I can't even stand myself.

I had an appointment yesterday afternoon.  I'm 3cm dilated and very soft.  I was told to do a lot of walking yesterday - that just the combo of the internal exam and walking *could* be enough to put me into early labor.  I walked 3 miles - half of them pushing a stroller.  I contracted a lot and felt like he was for sure going to claw his way out.  And after a night of being up 3 times with my toddler and getting almost no sleep at all, I have cried for most of the day today - as my uterus is as calm as ever.  

Honestly, a repeat c-section that includes a tubal ligation isn't sounding half bad right now.  

Between the hormones and the physical pain I am falling apart.  

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