While this blog has turned into a rather ordinary pregnancy journal, I'm sure it's easy to forget why this blog is here. As I blissfully plow through my to-do list for "baby brother" (which may become his official name), I remember where my life was a year ago. I was here. With blissfully wonderful betas, 5 weeks pregnant, and hoping beyond hope that our 5th pregnancy would be our second child. A few weeks later we would see that baby with a glorious heartbeat. And then a few weeks later we would lose that baby too. Was that baby a boy or a girl? Was there something wrong with that baby? Or was that baby as perfect as this one and my body failed me?
"Baby brother" is such a wonderful miracle. But he doesn't take the grief away. In some way shape or form, I have gotten attached (for no matter how short a time period) to 4 other pregnancies between our son and "baby brother" and had to say goodbye to all of them.
So today this blog is not about my pregnancy, it's about my journey. The pain. The grief. The very real depression. Whether you realize it or not, someone around you has likely felt the same pain. Today is a day for the 1 in 4.
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