I know, I missed my 31 week update. That's what happens during the holidays. A full term pregnancy is now less than 6 weeks away. Holy shit. A full term pregnancy is now less than 6 weeks away?!?!?!?!
As I lay here tonight in bed, unable to sleep, I am catching up on my blog reading. Baby brother is destroying the right side of my abdomen with his ever strengthening kicks. I mean causing serious pain. As of my last appointment he was transverse, and I don't think he has moved. (Not great news, for a vaginal delivery or for my comfort. But he still has a few weeks to move before they get worried.)
Anyway, from my blog reading I learned that today a fellow "RPLer" found out she is about to miscarry for the 4th time. This time after going through IVF to conceive. I am so sad and angry for her. Why must the world be this way? Why does anyone have to lose baby after baby? The pain of RPL is so intense and so maddening. Yet with every next pregnancy there is this hope that maybe things will be different. Maybe, just maybe the vicious cycle will break, the "bad luck" will end, and a pregnancy will make it. The waiting, the anxiety, the fear. I wish the madness on no one, and my heart aches for this woman and her husband tonight.
And suddenly those pounding kicks to my side feel like the most welcome things in the world. Pain is so relative, and I have nothing to complain about.
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