November 14, 2011. I knew the inevitable was coming. We had been told almost a week earlier that our baby's heartbeat was gone. I had been spotting for a couple days. I was somewhere between numb and devastated and terrified, as I still had yet to go through the actual physical miscarriage.
I wrote this blog post exactly one year ago today. That quote became the tag line for my entire blog. "You are not sad just because of what you have lost but because of what will never be."
Being 30 weeks pregnant on this heartbreaking anniversary makes a lot of things better. But that overwhelming sadness and devastation is still there. The emotional pain. The physical pain. Some days it feels like it was a lifetime ago. And then some days it still hurts like it was yesterday - in a way so deep it almost doesn't make sense.
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