I had a long talk with my husband last night. (I've actually been out of town with the kids for a while, so this shock was relayed to him via phone call last week.) I admitted to him that while I know the timing isn't ideal and it wasn't planned, now that it has happened I don't want to lose it. And he admitted the same.
But I'm afraid to want it - for obvious reasons. I feel my mind going back to that neurotic place . . . Do my boobs hurt today? Why am I so crampy? Why am I not crampy anymore? Where on Earth will put this baby in our cramped house? We have to move. Am I bleeding? Let me go to the bathroom to see if I'm bleeding. While I'm in the bathroom I should take another test. Etc. Etc. Etc.
And on that note, I'm going to try to turn off my neurotic brain and get a nap. Because the exhaustion is very, very real.
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