Hi, and welcome. This blog has changed a bit recently. My husband and I fought through 4 consecutive losses to get our second healthy child (born in December 2012) . . . and while we had not shut the door on the idea of another pregnancy, we certainly were leaning in that direction. On August 8, 2014, we found out we are pregnant for the 7th time. A total surprise. So the neurotic journey continues . . . third child or fifth loss . . . I'm scared and confused and just a teensy bit excited . . .

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Beta Drawn and Stuff

Beta was drawn at 9am.  I have no idea what to expect, I just hope I get a call on Friday (after the second beta on Thursday) before the office closes at noon.

I had a long talk with my husband last night.  (I've actually been out of town with the kids for a while, so this shock was relayed to him via phone call last week.)  I admitted to him that while I know the timing isn't ideal and it wasn't planned, now that it has happened I don't want to lose it.  And he admitted the same.  

But I'm afraid to want it - for obvious reasons.  I feel my mind going back to that neurotic place . . . Do my boobs hurt today?  Why am I so crampy?  Why am I not crampy anymore?  Where on Earth will put this baby in our cramped house?  We have to move.  Am I bleeding?  Let me go to the bathroom to see if I'm bleeding.  While I'm in the bathroom I should take another test.  Etc.  Etc.  Etc.

And on that note, I'm going to try to turn off my neurotic brain and get a nap.  Because the exhaustion is very, very real.

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