For anyone keeping up, there is no TTC news to report right now. CD10 is about as boring as it gets in my cycle. Most of the time I'm feeling calm about TTC. I wouldn't say I ever feel optimistic . . . I am almost certain that another pregnancy will be a miscarriage as well, but with the diagnosis we have, that's the journey we have to walk. Some days are better than others. Last night I had a hard time going to sleep. A Facebook friend just announced her fourth pregnancy yesterday and for some reason I just couldn't stop thinking about the 4 I've lost. But most days are okay. And I think that's because I'm keeping myself busy . . .
I've now lost 12 pounds - which is amazing. I really need to lose 40 more, but 12 is a good start. I just started the 30 Day Shred last night, and I thought I'd be in a lot more pain today. Surprisingly, the only thing that really hurts are my arms . . . the weakest part of my body (by far) was not intended to push up the overweight rest of my body. But it's the good kind of hurt, like I can tell I did something, but am not unable to move them at all.
Let's see, what else - I chopped my hair off (much needed) and perked up my blonde color from dishwater to much brighter.
I've got the entire house organized and am keeping it moderately clean. (As clean as you can keep a house with a toddler and a 100 pound fuzzy dog, of course.) I'm finding lots of crafts and recipes on Pinterest to keep any extra time filled up, and I think my healthier habits and weight loss are contributing to an overall better mood.
So that's where we are right now. As I was struggling with my insomnia last night I wondered if we should just stop TTC. Is it worth it? I don't know. Right now, I don't think I'm ready to quit. But as time goes on, I am getting more and more open to the idea of getting off this crazy train and accepting what life has given us up until this point . . . We'll see how the next couple of months go.
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