3 Years Ago, Today

March 9, 2009. CD1 in our first ever TTC cycle. I was excited. I was nervous. What if we got pregnant right away? Were we really ready? What if we weren't able to get pregnant and this was the start of a painful journey?

On March 9, 2009 I had no idea that we'd get our BFP that very first cycle and bring our perfect child into the world 9 months later. That cycle and that experience were truly a perfect miracle like no other.

Of course, I also had no idea that the next 3 years would bring 5 pregnancies and 4 losses. A pain that many days I still don't know how to handle. So here I am, 3 years later, weeping for the babies I should have and the uncertainty about whether there will ever be another one.

But in all the sadness, and all the pain, I have my little boy - and I am forever and eternally grateful.