Today did not start of well. Between the irrational jeans freak out this morning, and the anxiety of waiting for my appointment, things went from bad to worse when we got there. My appointment was at 2pm. By 2:20pm I was impatient. By 2:40pm I was annoyed. When the nurse came to apologize sometime around 2:50pm to say she had screwed up and misplaced my file and I had been forgotten, I was pissed. When she proceeded to inform me that it meant other scans had just started and it would be another 30 minutes before I would be seen I was effing LIVID. In hindsight, it was a simple accident. In real time, my anxiety level had gone from barely tolerable to I'm-going-to-rip-someone's-head-off. I calmly explained that I understood, but I had to pick my son up at school by 4pm and not starting my appointment until 3:30pm was not an option. She scurried off to try to figure out how to solve this problem she created and my husband, bless his heart, in his futile attempt to distract me started blathering about Tom and Katie gossip from People magazine. I'm freaking out about whether the baby is still alive or not and he's talking to me like like I give a shit about a rich celebrity divorce. And I FLIPPED out on him. Which I shouldn't have done, but OMG I was about to lose my shit with anxiety and he was just making noise. So we proceed to argue and I end up crying. Awesome. Thankfully I pulled myself together before the nurse came back to tell me that the actual doctor would start my scan and then the technician would come in to complete it.
That is where my day DRAMATICALLY improved. There was a huge 42 inch flat screen on the wall transmitting the entire ultrasound in real time as it was performed. The second the wand hit my abdomen, the baby was there - heartbeat just flickering away (at a wonderful 165bpm). A baby. Our baby. It looked nothing like a blobby mass on an ultrasound screen . . . It looked like an amazing, perfect baby. The brain, the heart, the arms and legs, the spine, the profile shot with the perfect little nose, and even fingers. In three weeks it has gone from having arm and leg "buds" to having full limbs with visible fingers and toes.
Up until today I had made it through 4 ultrasounds relatively emotionless. Today was more than I could hold in. I cried like a baby. The tech started crying. My husband started crying. I have spent so many days of the last 8 months of my life convinced that I would never again carry a baby any longer than a few weeks. And here we are, almost 3 months in, watching this tiny thriving human inside me.
The tech took tons of measurements, and when we got down to the abdomen and legs she asked if we planned to find out the sex. We said yes, and she said that at this point there are no certainties, but she showed us and there was absolutely nothing visible to be seen. I mean nothing at all. So we aren't going out to buy anything pink yet, nor or we getting attached to the idea of a little girl, but the tech said she was fairly certain. Definitely a fun part of the scan I wasn't expecting. We'll find out if she was right in 8 weeks.
Speaking of measurements, baby is measuring a very healthy 12w6d. Which based on what my midwives changed my due date to, is 6 full days ahead. No big deal. Ahead just means that either I'll deliver earlier than my due date or I'll deliver a big baby (been there done that). Measuring ahead is infinitely preferable to measuring behind!
I asked about my anterior placenta. She said it's really to early to say for sure where the placenta will end up. The uterus is rapidly expanding and as it does, the relative location of the placenta moves. She said it currently looks more right lateral to her than anterior. Interesting. I hope it stays there. I'll gladly take fetal movements ASAP!
And finally, at the very end after all of our measurements were taken we met up with the doctor who had started our scan. She went over all the measurements with us, and told us that without the blood work results to factor in, our risk of any problems seem to be extremely low. The blood work will be the final piece to the statistical equation and will come back in 5-7 days. But I had to ask - could the blood work significantly change our chances for birth defects? She said that while they are always a consideration, it would be very rare for the blood work to indicate a problem when the measurements look this strong.
And THERE you have it. What a crazy day. I'm going to bed asap. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. And I'm growing a baby! :) I know I said I might post pictures this week. That may have to wait until next week. I'm beat.
P.S. My friend who I blogged about yesterday got great news at her appointment today as well! So for those of you who were thinking about her - THANK YOU!!!
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