Afternoon appointments stink. By the time we have our appointment, get the crazy toddler from school, and get dinner it will probably be late before I have any updates here. I would MUCH prefer a morning appointment, but my husband's job isn't as flexible in the morning so I will sit and obsessively stress for the entire morning tomorrow.
Tomorrow. For starters, I didn't think we'd get this far. 12 weeks. No bleeding. Lots of pregnancy symptoms. 4 good (GREAT) ultrasounds already behind us. We have so much to be thankful for. And yet we still have SO far to go. Another 12 weeks just to have the chance of viability. Another 25 weeks from now to full term. I don't know how to stop worrying that this could be taken away from me at any second. I had a very graphic dream about miscarrying last night. I wonder if those dreams will ever stop. I wonder if I will ever relax. I wonder if I will ever feel like this pregnancy is more likely to succeed than fail. Tomorrow is a big hurdle on this journey.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
P.S. If you have additional thought/prayers/vibes (whatever it is that you prefer to send), I have a dear friend who could use some of your well wishes tomorrow. After 1 healthy child, years of infertility, and multiple miscarriages, she and her husband gave up their dreams of a second child and got off the emotional trying to conceive roller-coaster. After selling all of her baby stuff and months of grieving this decision, she got a surprise positive pregnancy test several weeks ago. Her first ultrasound is tomorrow and I am almost as sick for her as I am for myself. I want this miracle for her so badly.
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