Faint lines are going to be the death of me . . .

Faint lines have been my subject twice before. Once starting the last pregnancy, here. And once ending it, here.

DAMN FAINT LINES MAKE ME CRAZY. Today I am 9dpo, or 7 or 8 or 10 . . . don't really know, but let's go with 9dpo. (See previous post for clarification.) And there are faint lines EVERYWHERE. Specifically 3 Wondfos and 2 FRERs. Did I just admit that I peed on 5 pregnancy tests today? I warned you I was crazy. And they all have these hints of marks where a second line is supposed to be. Not definite enough to be positive tests, but definite enough that I feel like they aren't negative either . . . especially since there have been 5 of them.

Obviously, this could be the start of something good. Or it could be that I'm just a crazy nut case convincing myself that lines exist where there are none. Or it could be another chemical pregnancy. Only the next few days will give an indication of which way this might go. If these tests never get darker, I'm just going to tell myself I'm crazy, because I think that's easier mentally to think about than another chemical pregnancy. But we will see what tomorrow and the next day bring . . .

And just in case you are wondering - I can go an entire cycle and never see a hint of a faint line. Last month, I tested quite a bit and studied and stared at every test and there was NOTHING. Stark white. So I really don't make up the lines. I just am way way way too good at seeing the first signs of that stark white being not so stark white anymore. (The curse of my photography hobby - a ridiculously keen eye for variations of white.)

And for the record, I'm not at all hopeful about this. Not only did I O way early in this cycle for optimal baby making, but I also do not feel pregnant at all. I'm on the progesterone which makes me tired, makes my boobs sore, and increases my appetite - but it did that last month too. I have zero reason to have confidence that this is our cycle.

More to follow - tomorrow . . .