Hello Pregnancy

Oh pregnancy, how I have missed you. Of course I have been pregnant more times than most people, but 4 out of the 5 times I've been pregnant, I've only felt pregnant for a couple of days and if it weren't for pregnancy tests, I wouldn't even know I was pregnant. I've only felt pregnant once in my life and that was with my son, 3 years ago.

Until now.

I will be 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I would link my post from the last pregnancy at 6 weeks, but I'm blogging on my phone. I vividly recall saying that I wish I felt worse, that my very early symptoms were all but gone.

6 weeks in this pregnancy is an entirely different blog post. I've felt terrible all weekend. I've had to concentrate a couple of times just to keep my food down. I am nauseated almost all day - particularly when it's been too long since I've eaten. I'm ravenous constantly despite the nausea. And out of the blue today I NEEDED a meatball sub from Subway so bad that I could not stomach the idea of anything else. (Thank goodness there is a Subway close by, and thank goodness they were open on Memorial Day. I ate it all and it was wonderful. But gross. I never want their meatball subs. What is that all about?) My boobs are beyond sore - a type of sore I didn't even know could exist anymore after breastfeeding a child for a year. And the exhaustion. Oh the exhaustion. I'm a little concerned about how I'm going to work this week because I need a nap just hours after waking up.

What does all of this mean? Well honestly, not much medically. Plenty of people have pregnancy symptoms and still miscarry. But emotionally, this is helping me get through. It feels like my body is doing something right this time. This feels like the misery I recall with my son. And as awful as it is, it is keeping me from laying in bed at night convinced that this pregnancy is destined to fail . . . So in a weird and twisted way, I'm enjoying it. I just hope it continues. Because if I wake up one day and suddenly these symptoms are gone, then I'm going to have a hard time convincing myself that everything is okay . . .