Let's talk about the next 7 days

I sit here this morning completely emotionally exhausted thinking about this upcoming week. While I'm sure many of these topics will get their own post at some point in the next week, thinking about all of them this morning is a little overwhelming.

1). This will be the first week in three weeks that we will not have an ultrasound or any other way to check to see if this peanut is still alive.

2). I will have my first appointment with my midwife who has done all of my miscarriage appointments.

3). We will (hopefully) pass the gestational age that everything went wrong last time. At 7w4d last time there was a gloriously strong heartbeat. At 8w5d it was gone.

4). And finally we will watch June 14th come and go. The EDD for our last pregnancy. And instead of becoming 2nd time parents, we will spend June 14th clinging to whatever hope we can find that we won't have to say goodbye to another pregnancy and spend another due date with such sorrow.